Curiosity Killed the…

Stella’s last full day was Tuesday, September 11. About 45 minutes into September 12 she died in my arms while Mike and I were heading north on the 405 to get her to the emergency animal hospital.
We drove past some late night construction and the work lights lit up the car, that’s when I saw her.

It was horrible. It wasn’t a quiet or painless death, it was horrible. I have many regrets (which I think is to be expected) and one of them is that we didn’t get her to the hospital in time.

That’s why pets are euthanized right? So they don’t feel pain?

Her death floored me. I suppose I always knew the day would come but the pain of losing her still haunts me.

Stella had a heart murmur like our other kitty Penny. It was believed that Stella’s murmur was low grade but earlier this year she started having attacks. I don’t know how else to describe them except by saying they were like reverse seizures. She would lose control of her legs, her eyes would get glassy, and she became unresponsive. They were definitely scary.

I look at her picture all the time but I can’t really let myself think about her anymore. It’s like I’m standing at the edge of a very deep cliff. If I think about Stella I’ll fall in. I have no idea how long it will take me to pull myself out.

Thankfully I have 4 other kitty cats who need me and require my care and attention. If Stella was our only cat I don’t see how I could get out of bed every day.

There’s a good chance I’ll never recover from the loss of Stella; it was just so tragic. She was only a baby, a young and tiny 2 years old We had her for 16 months and she loved us unconditionally. Mike and I loved her right back.
Her favorite thing in the world was giving kitty kisses and being close to her people.
We were very lucky to have such an amazing little creature.